I had a cousin who was close to my age who came to spend the weekend when I was about 12 years old. My mother then invited my brother's friend to also spend the weekend--that was a disaster.
The two of us girls were playing our make-up and hair, teasing it high and frizzy ala 1990's. My brother and his friend kept making fun of us, telling us "It doesn't matter what you do, you'll still be ugly." This of course led to me squirting my brother with the foaming mousse that shot out like silly string.
A huge selection of hair and make-up products flung around the room, landing on whatever and whoever was in the way. Streaks of fuchsia Vidal Sassoon hair gel dripped down my brother, and before I knew it, ketchup and mustard were the new weapons of choice. We looked like gay pride floats with the rainbow of mischief that decorated our clothes, skin, and hair.
Any new mother would have been upset, screaming and yelling. However, my brother and I were kids number 4 & 5, making my mom a veteran. She was happy as long as no one need stitches or casts... to her this was "no big deal". The problem? How do four kids get showered in a one bathroom home with only enough hot water to bathe two?
My mother had the perfect answer, "Lay towels down on the backseat and get your butts in the car."
"But we're filthy."
"Get in the car, here's some towels." She drove us to the car wash and I thought she wanted us to wash the car. Mom put five dollars of coins into the do-it-yourself wash, then grabbed the water gun and squirted us down. "Here, you want to shoot each other? Then at least clean yourselves off doing it." She got back in the car and waited for us to finish. Four extremely wet kids loaded back into the car and headed back home.
To this day, I'm extremely thankful that my brother didn't turn on the hot wax. Not only would I be scarred for life, but it probably would have taken my mom forever to find the hospital.
Mom always said:
With one kid, you aren't a parent cause you know who broke the lamp.
With two kids, you aren't a parent cause you can separate two fighting kids.
It's at three kids that you become a parent, because when the kids fight, the third is always jumping in and you only have two hands.
Kids four, five, and six don't really marry cause by number three you are already crazy.