Short & Silly 04/08/2015

4/8/2015

Buy The Kid A Book, Lady!

I have a nephew who loves reading books as much as I do. My brother and I started him off at a very young age. At 2 years old, if he wanted to play a video game, he had to read a question then type the answer. Each time the computer started, a new question was asked, so there was no memorization to help him cheat

Back in the 90s, there was a "Rag Mag" called the Weekly World News, the kind you find in the grocery store lines that say "Adam and Eve Were Aliens" and "Bigfoot is Married to Joan Rivers". My nephew loved these, and for $1.65 it was a great way to not only keep him quiet, but to keep him reading. The problem lay when he took them to school to educate his 6 year old friends that "Bat Boy" was a mutation of a boy and bat and lived in a cave. The teacher did not like that one too much... and I got a talking to from my sister.

One of my fondest memories was when a Stephen King book came out around Christmas. My nephew was about 9 or 10, and he wanted the book so badly. At the time, King had a monthly book club--- commit to buying x number of books and get one free. I fell for it and got the kid a bunch of books for Christmas.

The problem? My sister knew it, the kid didn't. The two walked through Kmart and he asked for the book. My sister said no.

"But... pllllleeeaassse Mom! I really want it, it is so important!"
His mother replied, "No, it's almost Christmas. Stop acting up and let's go."
He responded, "But look, it's on sale for 30% off, it won't be on sale again..... pllllleeeasseee I have nothing at home to read."
This only angered her. Not only did this kid have a library that rivaled my own, but he had custom built wooden book cases to fit them, PLUS a shelf that wrapped around his bedroom ceiling. But ya know, he had NOTHING to read.

Annoyed, my sister told him to put the book back and walked away. A stranger approached her, "Lady, my kid wants a $600 Wii video console and your kid wants a $10 book. Just buy him the book lady!" Talk about embarrassing.

When the same nephew was 13 years old, I asked what he wanted for Christmas and he replied, "To see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway". (Who's kid is this?????)

So my brother and I bought the tickets and we took a Greyhound for a day trip to NYC. After the show, we stopped by a souvenir shop--- Guess what the kid wanted???

You guessed it! The freaking BOOK of Phantom of the Opera.

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