U.S.S. Mustang
On New Year's Day, 2011, my sister passed away. It was a really bad time to me. I think my own mortality passed before my eyes. The next month, I went to my local Ford dealership with $20,000 and ordered a brand new Mustang. I knew exactly what I wanted: GT, 5.0 liter engine with 420 hp, hood and side scoops, 19 in wheels, shaker 1000 sounds system--- basically, the works.
It took three months for that car to come in. Every day I waited by the phone, wishing it to ring. Then I got the call! YAY! Exactly one month later.... hadn't made a monthly payment yet... hadn't gotten the registration in the mail yet..... and... I was on the way to work and a flash flood picked the car up and carried me down the road. The car finally stopped drifting and just died. First I was shocked, then angry, then just plain overwhelmed. I dropped my cell phone below the seat and couldn't reach it. The call is voice activated, so I said, "Call GEICO" to get a tow truck. The car responded, "Call Gail? Call Mom? Call Al?" "NO! GEICO! GEICO!" I shouted as I pounded the dash. As the water built up around the car, an officer pulled up and told me to get out. My response? "No. No way! It's brand new. I'm not leaving it." "Please, ma'am, you need to get out of the car," the officer pleaded. "I'm fine right where I am, just call me a tow truck, please." The officer's annoyance exuded from his voice, "You need to get out of the car, you could drown." "Look, this car was $45,000. I'm not leaving it. If I die, tell my mother my life insurance will pay off the car and for a crane to pick me and the car up and drop us in a hole. No need to embalm me or anything. Just have her bury me in the car." I think he thought I was kidding, but I wasn't. So, the tow truck comes and takes me back to my dealership which is owned by a family that I knew from school. I tell my story, and my former Geometry classmate starts laughing to the point I wanted to hit him. Then his brother walks up in horror, watching my poor car being towed in on the flatbed. Classmate tells his brother, while holding his belly and stomping on the floor laughing, "You're not going to believe this..." I call GEICO from the dealership... go through a whole list of questions... then get this question, "What road were you on at the time, ma'am?" "Creek Road." The agent laughed, "Seriously? Your new car got flooded on Creek Road?" Another freaking wise guy! It took two weeks for my new engine to come in... at the cost of $12,000 by GEICO. The old engine only had 500 miles on it :( I was already experienced in losing Mustang GT's though. A real pro. I had a beautiful red Mustang GT-- it was 13 years old, fully customized and only had 68,000 miles on it. On Easter Sunday, while the kids were running over fields and hunting for eggs.. I heard CRASH! I lay on my mother's apartment floor watching a movie, and after a few minutes I got up and said, "I better take a look, with my luck that was my car." I wasn't really expecting it to be my car... but when I saw that the parked car was now on the grass with it's quarter panel thrust into the side of a tree... after having moved a concrete parking bumper four feet away...well.. I just screamed! There were no other cars around--- just my car in the middle of a field assaulting a tree. I call 911 and walk out without my shoes, and honestly without even a bra cause I was comfy indoors, and went searching for the culprit. "West Deptford Police, How can I help you?" "Some idiot just totaled my Mustang GT. I need a responder, please." The tons of questions came flying out of his mouth as the idiot in question came walking from two buildings over. "Hey.. was that your car that jumped out in front of me?" He staggered toward me. It was obvious he was drunk or on drugs or something. Which made me even more angry. "Officer, this @#$#@# is messed up on something and saying my car hit him. I wasn't even in it," I declared. The officer then asked me to describe him.... six foot two..250 pounds... and oh yeah.. HIGH on freaking drugs!!! How's that for a description??? Then I hear, "Ma'am, is he being belligerent? Are you in fear?" Now I'm mad and screaming, "Fear? Yeah, I'm in fear of hurting him.. did you NOT hear me tell you the part where he totaled my Mustang GT?????" A second later five cop cars swarmed around us in a star pattern like you see in a movie. GEICO paid the claim right away then fought with that guy's insurance for a year to get refunded. The adjuster wrote on my paperwork, "My condolences on the loss of your vehicle. I searched from Boston to South Carolina and found nothing comparable. It was THAT unique and irreplaceable." Six months later the idiot finally went to court, got his DUI dropped and only lost his license for a month. Guess what insurance company then covered him when his policy was dropped? GEICO!!!! These stories are funny now, but at the time I was devastated and angry. I hope you enjoyed today's Short & Silly and ask you to please share my blog with your friends and feel free to comment below. Enter the Rafflecopter below to
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Author Rhoda D'Ettore
Historical Fiction, Suspense/Thrillers, Humor, Erotica Archives
November 2018
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